It’s just 9 days before I leave Europe. I don’t think I’ll have time for a proper post, considering all the 1001 things I’ve to do and that includes 3 exams next week and all that administrative shit.

I will miss:

-my hostel in Stusie

-taking the tram to school.

-walking along the long and quiet corridors of KG 1 to class.

-taking history lectures in German.

-speaking in German.

-cooking.

-learning history out of the classroom.

-learning about myself.

-walking in the snow and shivering under 3 layers of clothing.

-sliding on the ground covered by snow.

-settling matters on my own.

-carrying my backpack and taking trains from one city to another.

-my friends.

I can’t go on anymore. There are just so many things I’m gonna miss.

Che

I cannot wait for this movie to come out. It is a story about my favorite revolutionary, if not historical figure. Yes, you got it right. It is a story about Ernesto Che Guevara.

And here is the trailer.

“We are doing everything possible to give labor this new status of social duty and to link it on the one side with the development of a technology which will create the conditions for greater freedom, and on the other side with voluntary work based on a Marxist appreciation of the fact that man truly reaches a full human condition when he produces without being driven by the physical need to sell his labor as a commodity. Man still needs to undergo a complete spiritual rebirth in his attitude towards his work, freed from the direct pressure of his social environment, though linked to it by his new habits. That will be communism”.  – Ernesto Che Guevara

Trudging to the Praxis with a painful toe in the snow was no mean feat; I was limping most of the time and sliding on the icy ground, with my footing threatening to lose itself. I had an X-ray taken and all is fine. No frature or whatsoever, just a infraction of the toe. I’m cherishing my last days in Europe amidst all the load of work I’ve to finish.

15 days to go.

I’m sick of having chided by people who think they know best and that I’d always remain irresponsible and immature. Well, fuck off because I’ve been responsible for myself for the past 4 months which I don’t think you’ll be even able to survive one week here.

You’ll see and I’ll make sure you eat your own words.

Having to write a 2500 word history essay in German is just pure madness. Writing it in English is bad enough.

Ich bin sehr tod.

This month’s gonna be all work and not much play. Well, I think I’ve traveled enough anyway. 18 cities, 10 countries. It ain’t so bad afterall.

3 more weeks and I’ll be home.

Ich kann nicht auf warten.

Hello, 2009. I’m 10 days late.

In 4 hours or so, I’ll be embarking on my Eastern Europe trip for the Christmas break. It’s gonna be quite a mad-cap adventure, considering that our planning was completely last minute and still is in tatters but we’ll improvise along the way.

I won’t be back in Freiburg till the 2nd or 3rd so I would like to write this down now, to say how much I’m grateful to be here and to the people who have made this exchange possible and in the best way one could have.

It’s been an amazing year, the best in my life thus far. I’ve met a certain baby whom I love to bits. I’ve accomplished a 9 year old dream of backpacking Italy alone. I’m here, in this continent where my interest and passion in history lie. I’m here, taking lessons and experiences to shape me for the rest of my life. With all these, it’s the best year I’ve ever had.

Before I leave, I’d like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

I hope it could be a white Christmas in Prague.

I watched as the snow fell sporadically from the sky, disappearing almost as soon as they touched the ground. Snow flakes fell onto my hair, eye lashes and black coat as I froze under three layers of clothes. My heart’s initial panic of not having my visa extended today and missing Barcelona tomorrow as a result seemed to ease away. It was now replaced by a pang of yearn and longing for a certain baby. I wished that he was here to walk with me in the snow, holding my hand in my red glove.

The snow continues falling outside my window as I type this. It’s been exactly 3 months since I’ve been in Europe but I am still not used to nights without you by my side.

And yes, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

And most of all, it’s built to last.

In this very special year, I met a boy on 26th March over my favourite mocha frap and a rather tasteless potato salad at my favourite Starbucks. Almost unexpectedly, we fell in love over conversations of football, music, motorcycles and life. Over the months, from seemingly unconsequential conversations about our similar interests on a rather superficial level, we progressed onto deeper conservations about history, our dreams, future, marriage, issues on a more personal and intellectual level. And so, I’ve found my best friend, my soulmate, my baby, my boyfriend, my dearest love in this boy who has become the man I’ve come to know now.

I love you, Baby. It’s been amazing how this year has turned out because of you. I know things will only get better because I’ve found you.

After trials and tribulations that we’ve gone through, they reaffirm my love for one man, the man of my life.

I’ve become so comfortable in Europe that I no longer bother to convert Euros into SGD anymore, my friends here have started calling me Limpy, I’ve changed all my timings into European time, I can cook my own food, I don’t feel awkward by the German Stare anymore, I sit around on the bench in the city with beer bottles, I might just stay for another semester if everything works out…

On a bus ride through the snow and snow-capped hills to Paris, my dreams ran wild and this is where I want to be.

It’s been two and a half months here, and the party has just truly begun to start.

Your love means everything.

Allie: I need to ask you something.
Noah: What is it sweetheart?
Allie: Do you think that our love can create miracles?
Noah: Yes I do. That’s what brings you back to me each time.
Allie: Do you think our love can take us away together?
Noah: I think our love can do anything we want it to.
Allie: I love you.
Noah: I love you Allie.
Allie: Good night.
Noah: Good night. I’ll be seeing you.

Getting smashed and collapsing onto the grass in the cold after that was totally uncool. I was so gone that four people had to help me to my room and make sure that I was okay. The puke and the hangover were the worst part of it all.

Get a grip, will you?

And I look for a warning sign.

Promises made and broken, they sent me to the highs and brought me crashing down in the split of seconds. I’m at fault for believing and not protecting myself from the aftermath.

Where I’ve gone since 911.

Verona
Bologna
Turin
Milan
Freiburg
Munich
Amsterdam
Brussels
Antwerp

Interlaken this weekend, Barcelona next month. I don’t know where else. So many places to visit, so little time.

I am a Dreamy Idealist

Ich bin 22 Jahre alt.

At 0000 of 4th November which is today, I turn 22 at the top of a hill overlooking a calm and seemingly sedated state of Freiburg together with Simon, who turns 22 as well, and with my dear Claryce and his friends too.

Receiving a birthday song and well wishes on a hill, away from home, away from the mess that has been engulfing me, I turn 22 in Freiburg.

A year older, I seek clarity and peace in my heart now.

Christmas break.

Berlin
Prague
Warsaw
Krakow
Vienna
Salzburg

It’s been a month since I last updated. In this month, I’ve settled down in Freiburg, burnt some of my meals, indulged in some beer at the Oktoberfest in Munich, experienced autumn, kicked heaps of crispy and golden-brown leaves, traveled to hedonistic Amsterdam where vices run wild and rampant in the Red Light District, trekked in steep and treacherous paths for a good 22km in the Black Forest and whatnot.

I feel like I’m undergoing some form of metamorphosis, like a cocoon waiting to break out of its shell. This change is big and positive. Just wait.

Wir lieben Bier.

And so I downed 1.5 litre of beer at the Volksfest in Bad Cannstatt yesterday and woke up with a extremely bad hangover. It was madness; one litre of beer and half a chicken with a piece of bread cost only 10,80 Euros. How could one resist that? None of us could.

I was really glad to see familiar faces of kian and fang too. Afterall, I’ve been in Europe for almost three weeks on my own. It was like good old Stuttgart last year: beer, bridge and becoming half-gone. I think I looked rather deliriously happy after finishing the beer. I don’t know how many hours we spent drinking, but by the time we left the beer place, it was already dark.

Even in the state of being half-gone and tipsy from the beer, I still thought of a particular man back in Singapore, the man whom I miss and love so much. Yes, Mr Baby Chan, that man is you.

For Baby.

Baby, this is for you. I made this trip especially for you and here you go, the one and only Ducati museum and factory in the world. These are some of your favourites. <3

I’ve more but I hope you like these nonetheless. I love you, Baby. (:

Ciao, Italia.

I’ve completed my first solo backpacking trip in Italia, unscathed except for a few blisters and cuts. The train from Milan back to Stuttgart took almost ten hours, but it was all worthwhile when the train traveled through one of the most scenic routes I’ve seen in my entire life—the Swiss Alps. It sent my jaws dropping, my heart reverberating and my eyes dilating. Okay, this is an exaggeration but I really felt like the entire train journey was worth it.

I’m extremely drained and exhausted. I haven’t been sleeping well or much, for that matter. I’ll just leave you with a few photos first.

Hello, is there anyone out there who can feel my ache and yearn?

Hello, anyone?

I’m in a lot of pain. Sick and alone, worsened by a heart that is broken.

Gosh, why did I even want to do this alone back then? I can’t anymore.

I miss home. I miss my comfort zone. I miss you. I need you. I pine for you.

I’m in pain.

Sleepless in Stuttgart.

It’s 337 am here in Stuttgart and 1037 am back home. It’s barely been two days and I feel like I can’t do this for 4 months.

My heart is laden with pain and yearn, wishing I hadn’t decided to embark on this.

I miss you baby. It breaks my heart cos I can’t be there for you, to hold you like always, to tell you that everything would be fine again.

But take heart, this separation is temporary. You know I’ll come back to you and we’ll be much stronger after that.

Take heart, my dearest love.

Oh babe, I hate to go.

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time let me kiss you
Close your eyes and I’ll be on my way

6 more hours.

And from the ballroom floor we are a celebration
One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we all will sleep well, sleep well
Sleep well, sleep well, sleep well